From College to Career: How to Help Your Child Get It Right

Play along with me …

You love parties. You love throwing them as much as you enjoy attending them. So one day, you decide you’re going to host a party. You run out to the store. You buy all kinds of food, beverages and decorations.

But wait.

What kind of party is it going to be? How many people will you invite? How many will attend? Will you serve brunch, cocktails or a plated dinner?

You can’t go to the store until you know those things. I mean, you can, but chances are, you’ll be heading right back there to make additional purchases or return bags full of things you didn’t really need.

The same goes for helping your child choose a college, major and career — except with far greater implications. By focusing your attention on your child getting into the “right” school, you could be ignoring many factors that are critical to their success — in college and beyond.

High-Stakes Decisions

What are your child’s true abilities, skills, interests, values and goals? Will they thrive at a smaller college or larger university? What careers and work environments would be a good fit for them once they graduate?

Sending them off to college before you (and they) know these things can have a variety of high-stakes repercussions — practical, financial and emotional. Every college credit costs money. Every dropped course wastes time. Every misstep has the potential to impact your child’s self-confidence.

A 2020 study published by BestColleges found that 61% of graduates surveyed said they wished they could reach back in time and change their undergraduate degree. That’s more than 400 of the 800+ individuals included in the study … real young adults launching their careers with regret rather than excitement. (As a coach — and a mom — that thought breaks my heart.)

According to the study, “… if schools help students align their majors with their ideal career paths — rather than just emphasizing graduating on time — it could improve overall satisfaction in the major. A 2015 study also supports the importance of career awareness when it comes to increasing a student’s satisfaction with their major.”

Here's the problem: Most schools can’t “help students align their majors with their ideal career paths.” They simply don’t have the resources. And in most cases “career awareness” is limited to what students have experienced in their families or communities.

So, as a parent, how can you position your child for college and career success?

1. Foster their self-awareness.

I grew up in an era when you took a job that was offered to you, especially if the salary was right. We didn’t question whether a job was a good fit. Today’s kids do. Or at least they should.

Related: Natural Abilities: The Foundation of an Aligned Career

Help your child develop a strong sense of who they are. Listen to their hopes and dreams, even (especially) if they’re different than yours. Encourage them to take career assessments — and to spend time digesting the results. The more “data” a child collects about themself, the more empowered they become to make college and career decisions that are right for them.

In their late teens and even into their 20s, kids are highly influenced by their peers.

But going to the University of My-Friend-Is-Going-There or choosing the “it” career can boomerang your child back to square one. Helping your child increase their self-awareness gives them a competitive advantage; they’re far likelier to succeed when their college and career plans align with their natural learning styles, talents and abilities.

2. Respect their journey.

Remember the first time you handed your new driver the car keys? If you’re like most parents, that was just as important a milestone for you as it was for your child. But really, it was just a warm-up act for what comes next: handing them the keys to their future.

Hard parenting truth: You can’t take this journey for your child. Your role as a parent is to guide, encourage and support them as they navigate their own college and career path. As they begin to make critical decisions that will impact their future — starting with where, or even if, to attend college — you may not agree with every decision they make. Get comfortable with that.

The more decisions you make for your child, the less equipped they become to make decisions for themselves. It’s a natural parental instinct to want to protect them from “wrong” decisions, but by respecting their journey, you teach your child to trust their ability to create their own future.

3. Encourage them to explore.

There are simple decisions and there are smart decisions. Sometimes they overlap — but not always. A simple decision would be to encourage your younger child to attend the same college as their older sibling. (Hello, efficient Parents’ Weekends!) But it isn’t a smart decision if the school isn’t a good match for them. The same goes for their career. If your family has a long legacy of lawyers, it might seem obvious that your child will follow suit … simple, but not necessarily smart if a legal career isn’t the right fit for them.

Your child’s growth requires stepping out of their comfort zone, which often includes family norms and expectations. Encourage them to research their college and career options, resisting the temptation to dismiss any of their ideas as “silly” or “unrealistic” before they have a chance to learn more about them. After they’ve done their research, you and your child can engage in an informed conversation about the viability of their ideas. You might be amazed at what they can discover when they have the freedom to explore.

Know Before They Go

Given that the adolescent brain isn’t fully developed until around age 25, expecting your child to have their future completely mapped out by the time they’re 18 simply isn’t realistic. But throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks … well, that gets messy.

While it’s far more efficient to plan now than to course-correct later, there is no such thing as a sure thing when it comes to college and career. Curveballs, twists and turns in their journey — some of their making, some not — are inevitable. But by helping your child develop the ability to steer their own ship, they’ll be able to navigate these critical turning points in their lives with greater ease, precision and confidence.

Position your child for college and career success.